Celebrate Lunar New Year in GO!

by

Woof woof! Happy year of the dog!

From now until February 17th catching Eevee, Poochyena, Growlithe, Snubbull and Electrike will grant you bonus stardust, and reports of Shiny Poochyena are starting to pour in!

In addition, Team Rocket and Team Rainbow Rocket Grunt outfits, from the original games and Ultra Sun & Ultra Moon respectively, are now available for purchase – each full outfit can be bought in pieces, but costs 950 PokeCoins total. Further more, due to server issues earlier today, the Valentine’s Day event has been extended until February 16th.

Sounds like the best time to get out an GO, wear your auspicious colors, and try your luck!

QUESTION OF THE DAY:
Which evil team, across all main and spin off games, has the best uniform?

Supporters

Nick F

Smearg

Foil Island

Conglome NERD

alcremie sundae

Radiant Blutle

Zachery

Dragoniteo

Austin John Plays

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1,432 thoughts on “Celebrate Lunar New Year in GO!”

  5. So, it seems as though something has motivated you enough to dispose of the corpse that you’ve been keeping in your basement. Perhaps your motivation is based upon the stench of decay wafting throughout your house, and you’re sick of people asking questions. Maybe it’s simply time to get rid of the evidence of your last job. It’s safe to assume that you’ve attempted to clean up your mess, only to have created a bigger mess than what you started with. There is good news for you, however. This article has been written to help you finish the task that you’ve already started. You see, cutting up the corpse you’ve been hiding can be a very rewarding experience for both you and your victim. However, without having access to the right information, it can end up quite disastrous and detrimental. Therefore, in this HowTo article, I will give you the information necessary to completing the task at hand successfully.

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      • Now, before you start mutilating that desecrated old corpse in your basement, let me explain something to you. While it’s not likened to rocket science, it can be something of a grueling task. The first thing you must understand is that to successfully butcher the corpse, it’s best to think of it as plucking, skinning, and dressing a turkey. If you think of the job as anything else, you will fail miserably.

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          • The first thing you must do is enter your basement while your mark is unconscious. This will make things much easier and cleaner for you in the long run. If your quarry is awake or has somehow escaped, you’ve got no reason to be pursuing this article, and should instead be hunting your prey down. Now, in order to successfully capture your escaped prey, it is suggested that you purchase a good-quality baseball bat and use this as you would a sap; that is, swing the implement at full-force, making sure to connect with the side of your intended victim’s head. Usually, it will only take one swing to render the person unconscious. Once you have successfully completed this step, you must relocate the unconscious person back to your basement.

          • Note: Should your victim already be dead, then you can skip this step and continue on.

            Killing someone is not just a hack-and-slash job. If you want this to be accomplished correctly, you must utilize a certain degree of finesse and gentility; as though you were cracking open an egg or skull. A quick (though messy) way of slaughtering someone is to slit their throat with a knife. If you cannot locate a knife, I would suggest using a razor blade, dagger, bottle or other sharp tool. You could always bludgeon them to death with a bat, two-by-four, or simply poison them. Piano wires can be very useful to strangle your victim to death.

          • More examples:

            Beat them with themselves
            Beat them with a fish
            Beat them with a broom
            Beat them with a wet noodle
            Give them a hug.
            Beat them at chess
            Beat the sh*t out of them
            Beat them with nothing.
            Beat them. That’s it.
            Challenge them to a dance contest
            Slap them very hard
            Hire vampires to do the job.
            Make them watch New Moon
            Force them to listen to Justin Bieber CDs.
            Let emos have their way with your victim.
            Make them listen to the Crazy Frog
            Strip down their underwear and give them a hug

          • This step is for preparing your room or torture chamber so that you may cut your victim up for easy transportation. The first thing to do is make sure to remove anything of value from your room, such as shelves, electronics, anything that you are afraid may get splattered with gore and either incriminate you or cheapen your merchandise. Once that is taken care of, it’s important that you place sheets of clear plastic, such as Reynold’s Wrap or Saran Wrap over your carpet, furnature, and anything else that may become splattered with blood and gore. Once that is finished, you should cover your mattress with a rubber mat or more plastic.

          • Let The Cutting Begin!

            Cutting up the body is a form of art, which may be done differently by each individual. Some people like to use a knife or chainsaw, while others may use medical implements.

          • The main thing that you must remember is to minimize the mess while operating. You do not want to hit an artery by mistake, as that could prove to be quite detrimental. Blood may still be circulating within the corpse even after they have been dead for an hour or longer. So, when you remove the extremities, it is important to cauterize the wounds left behind. Also, you would want to cauterize the limbs that you had severed. These severed limbs may be used to point at things, scratch your back, or as pieces for your Halloween costume. It’s alright to keep them as souvenirs, just remember not to send them back home to your mother. Your father on the other hand, may enjoy them. Once the basics have been covered, you may then proceed to butcher your victim. The best way to do this is to cut them in the same manner that you would a steak. Small pieces that may then be sent to the grocery store, your mama, or even Africa. Any country that is low on food will gratefully accept your anonymous donation. Be artistic, be smart, and above all, have fun.

          • It may take years to find somewhere to discard the plastic bags. By this time, your corpse may have been rendered into Jello. This is okay, though, as it will make getting rid of the evidence easier. A good selection of dumping grounds include:

            Your local cemetery.
            McDonalds.
            Equestria. (Except Canterlot. If anyone finds the body lying there they’ll teleport to the murderer)
            If a skeleton, to an archaeologist.
            A church bake-sale.
            Jello-loving aliens
            Scientific research facilities.
            A suspicious-looking van.
            Some farm in the middle of nowhere.
            A desk at the local DMV. Bonus points if deceased is an employee. Leave a hilarious note on the body, like ‘This is what happens when Phillip waits.’
            A nuclear bunker
            Necromancers will love to receive the remains.
            Charity
            Fiery pit
            Tom Cruise’s private plane.

          • how foolish of me, surely the longevity of preserving our one and only planet through the use of proper biodegradable materials outweighs the fundamentals of covering up petty manslaughter

          • Disposal is easy, so long as you have packaged the body up as though it were meat. If you did not do this, and forgot to clean your room prior to this step, you probably have blood stains on everything. To clean these up, it is suggested that you use bleach or urine. Do not use more blood. It will only make a bigger mess of things. Now, simply place the remains- the hair, teeth, bones, etc; in a plastic bag. This will suffice for now.

  7. i hope you all enjoyed this very informative article i’ll be back tomorrow with another infotaining article: How to become stupid in 21 days

    no sassins back to those givin a time, peace

    Reply

  12. Btw Valoroo what time zone are you one? Just curious because you’re normally on later than most, so I didn’t know if you had an earlier time zone (like me) than everyone else, or you’re just are a night person lol

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  13. I already made it to Love King in the Splatfest…that took less than 3 hours O_o
    Definitely the quickest by far. Team Love was absolutely killing it, and honestly I faced my own team most of the time, but I could still tell that we had the obvious advantage. I’m calling a 3-0 landslide victory right now, but maybe it’ll be 2-1…either way, I’m KING!!!

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  16. kill me now, i’m sick, my voice is at bass level, my ears won’t pop and there’s 5 dogs in the house which is stressful as hell because i’m the only one up at the crack of dawn that can actually attend to their constant whining…….and i’m starting to feel lightheaded

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      • Just a nasty head cold…..
        why did my mother agree to pet sit seriously one of the dogs (one of our dogs) is extremely unpredictable with other dogs and flew into a state of wild aggression nearly killing each other……i still see it in my head sometimes……

        Reply

  17. Well not one member of my team is dead yet in the Nuzlocke
    Team:
    -Celery (Treecko) lvl.12
    -Dogwood (Poochyena) lvl.8
    -Pineapple (Wingull) lvl.8
    -Melon (Ralts) lvl.7
    -Daisy (Cascoon) lvl.7
    -Shiitake (Shroomish) lvl.9

    Reserves (Boxed because Team full):
    Potatoe (Nincada) lvl.6

    So happy with these rare encounters especially Ralts

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  19. Can’t sleep and it’s nearly 9 in the morning and now my thoughts are trying to get to me……Over one year later and I still have so much anger inside.

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  20. So I’m about to battle Pryce. I’ve decided to do things differently and take him on before going after Chuck and Jasmine. Change of pace. Here’s my team. Levels go in this order 26,26,26,27,27. I may get destroyed, but oh well here we go! lol
    https://www.serebii.net/pokearth/sprites/crystal/153.png https://www.serebii.net/pokearth/sprites/crystal/232.png
    https://www.serebii.net/pokearth/sprites/crystal/216.png
    https://www.serebii.net/pokearth/sprites/crystal/214.png
    https://www.serebii.net/pokearth/sprites/crystal/171.png

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    • Wait ins’t that just essentially Ultra instinct Goku? Also why would they introduce Super Saiyan 5 when he clearly has a stronger transformation than the regular Saiyan ones? Also on top of that they’re just gonna skip 4? I REALLY hope they retcon the crap out of GT. Either get rid of it entirely or rewrite it to be better. I don’t want to think of a world where DBS directly flows into the trash that was GT. They better have another anime series that gets rid of it hahaha

      Reply

  22. Finally tired so going to try and sleep. And sorry for ranting a little. Just had to get my thoughts out I guess. Will post more later.

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  23. Wait so I just watched a video that talks about that silver haired transformation for Goku. sounds like it’s not the mastered form of Ultra Instinct, but is in fact just UI in the manga. Sounds like this is what Toriyama wanted it to look like? Meaning UI will still be relatively the same in the anime even if Goku masters it. so the silver hair may be exclusive to the manga.

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  25. Was kind of hoping that beating Pryce would open up the Ice Path so I could skip ahead to go get my Skarmory before going back to beat the other gym leaders, but I guess that’s not a thing…..

    Reply

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